There is a saying that says things kept in the dark, stay in the dark. Hiding my struggles keeps them in the dark and keeps me stuck in a cycle that is neither healthy nor productive. Coming out in the light allows me to heal, and more importantly can also be used to help others who may also be struggling. One of the biggest lies that we believe is that we are alone and that no one will understand. Hopefully my words can help others know that they aren’t alone. I have read a lot of books and scientific articles on eating disorders and exercise addiction; while all of them were helpful (or hurtful as some would set off the voice who insisted on being skinny), none of them really addressed the issue from an athlete’s point of view or from the perspective of someone who appeared to be healthy, but inside was dying. One of the most dangerous things about disordered eating is that often times those who suffer look healthy from the outside. I can tell you though, that the emotional and mental pain I feel every day trying to battle the voices is far worse than any physical pain I have ever dealt with.